I’m sitting here in this dark, cold and dreary basement at work stuffing my face full of pepperoni pizza pondering on what to blog as my first official blog as the SexGrinch.
“Should I go with a sex theme? … Now that wouldn’t make sense being the “SexGrinch” and all…”
“Should I complain about work? … Yeah I wouldn’t want to read that either.”
When it finally dawned on me that the hardest Mommy Lesson my 2 year old daughter, Cindy Lou Who*, has just taught me would be a shining example of not only my mothering capablities but of the future she has in store for me.
We take Cindy Lou to “Wonder Woman Heather” as I call her. She’s like the child whisperer. I wish I could adopt her as my pet and bring her home. Luckily for Cindy Lou and me, she’s better with my daughter than I am and much more easy going.
So last week when I picked Cindy Lou up from daycare and Heather announced, “Boy have I got a story for you!” I knew I should probably brace myself. Every child cusses once or twice at daycare right? Of course they do. It’s a common occurance in nature. I’m perfectly okay with that and considering the amount of cusswords I mutter at home, I knew I would soon get that fateful daycare report. Oh, but Cindy Lou had something else in store for me… Entirely.
My precious Cindy Lou is not a child to be outdone. She’ll be the best (or worst), the biggest and the baddest there is, come hell or high water.
How can you be the “best” cusser at daycare you ask? You find the daycare provider’s only daughter and you point at her and scream with all of the air in your lungs ‘FUCK YOU’ and then continue to do so repeatedly until you’re whisked out of the room by an adult who can hardly breathe through fits of laughter. That’s how.
So that’s my little Cindy Lou Who. She’s 2, she’s sweet and she cusses like a sailor off to war.
Just like her mother.
*Names have been changed to drive you bat-shit crazy and keep you guessing.