Sexgrinch's Blog

Welcome to Whoville! Join in on the Shenanigans!

*Still working on a title* November 11, 2009

Filed under: 1 — sexgrinch @ 3:05 AM

I work in an incessant sea of gossip and arrogance.  It’s brought an insurmountable amount of stress into my life. 

Enter: Lexapro (stage right)  Enter: Xanax (stage left) —  They dance merrily together. 

End scene.

It’s a classic tale of “girl hates girl”  or “girl hates prettier girl”.  Jealousy rules over the job kingdom and careers are ruined in attempts to destroy lives.  It really is quite the soap opera.  So instead of dragging you through the daily complaints we’re turning it into a modern day soap opera!  Can’t you just wait?!  Starting today with a new installment every Wednesday.  I’ll now attempt to set the scene.

It’s a cold dreary evening in January.  I wake up at 3pm as I do everyday to prepare myself for the shift to come.  Working graveyards isn’t ideal, but it’s what I have to do to keep my family together.  Especially after rumors of an ongoing affair broke.   Work relationships were growing tense and I could sense nobody believed a word anyone else had to say.  My boyfriend, Dean, didn’t like a single co-worker of mine and was futile in his attempts at getting me to quit. 

“We need the money.”

“You need your sanity.”

“I’m fine.”

I jump online to check my facebook account when I recieve a message from a friend, the man I’m rumored to have an affair with, that only says ‘congratulations on the engagement’.  What?  Wait just a damn minute here!  I am not, nor have I ever been engaged?  I ask him who is meddeling in my personal life?  He responds “May”, a co-worker of mine.  A woman who believes everyone business is tabloid worthy. 

Furious, I set a facebook status calling out my “co-workers”.  “Colette wishes her fellow co-workers would ask before they talk.”  Which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t the most professional thing to do, as she still had several co-workers as friends on her facebook page.  All hell broke loose.  Comments, accusations and gossip-OH MY!

I spent the rest of the evening on my couch, cuddled up with Dean, shaking and crying in anticipation of going to work, knowing how I had just horribly offended all the girls I work with.  This would be the first of many panic attacks induced by my career. 

*******

I’m still very much working on my writing skills.  I am open to ANY and ALL criticism.  It’s the only effective way to better yourself.  Give me your opinions and thanks for reading!

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Awkward and yet rewarding… November 10, 2009

Filed under: Whoville Shananigans — sexgrinch @ 11:55 PM

I just discovered a hole in my sock.  Right near my heel.  Nothing too extravagant right?  As I’m inspecting this wonderous little hole of mine I discover what caused it… My dry, cracked heels.  GROSS and yet oddly fascinating.

I believe I’ll be calling my best friend up and we’ll be going for pedicures this evening. 

Awkward and yet rewarding. 🙂

Anyways, that’s not really what I wanted to write about…   Last night my family and I finally decided it was time to rake the damn yard.  This is the first time in 3 years we’ve lived in a place with a yard so it was exciting, to say the least.  Armed with a rake and 20 lawn and garden bags we get to work, but not without a little fun first!  Of course we had to go through the traditional “jump in the leaves” fall event.  It was a blast! 

Cindy Lou didn’t quite get it until I jumped in the pile (that was a tall as me!) a few times, but after she caught on nothing could stop her!  Man could that kid destroy a pile of leaves.

Nothing says fall like jumping in the leaves.  Nothing.  The smell, the sound and the feeling.  I’ve missed it like crazy.  I’ll try to upload a picture of two once I get home!

Have a wonderful Hump Day!!!

 

Grinchy’s Terminology Tuesdays! — Incessant

Filed under: Terminology Tuesday — sexgrinch @ 5:38 AM

In high school we had this ridiculously hard English teacher who, over the years I grew to love, even if I retained absolutely nothing from her classes.  I had her for English and Speech all four years of high school and she was a big supporter of my writing.

Each day she would write a word on the board.   It was always a word that nobody had ever heard, like ..  This was always my favorite part of the day because I absolutely crave learning new words.  I often say that the thesaurus is my favorite book, even though I haven’t touched mine recently.   Throughout my years in high school I learned so many new, colorful and wonderful words and my writing really blossomed in that time. 

So I’ve decided to bring this back into my life and see if it helps kickstart my writing again!  It’s really more for me than it is for my faithful Whovillagers.  But I would love to see if you can implement the “Terminolgy Tuesday” word into your next blog and how.  I love reading blogs so if you decide to participate make sure to comment and link me!

If “Terminology Tuesday” takes off I’d love to start offering prizes!!!

Today’s word:  

in-ces-sant    [in-ses-uhnt]

–adjective        continuing without interruption; ceaseless; unending: an incessant noise.

Example–  I work in an incessant sea of gossip and arrogance.

Have fun!  Don’t forget to link me if you do decide to take part!  I will always post my blog with  “Terminology Tuesday’s” word on Wednesdays!

 

Just another Manic Monday!

Filed under: Whoville Shananigans — sexgrinch @ 5:19 AM

My birthday was last month and in her usual “fashionably late” style, my grandmother sent my gift 3 weeks late.  I’m okay with that.  I’m 24, I’m perfectly okay with not recieving gifts at all… But it is always nice to know someone is thinking about you.

Over the years I’ve become fearful of opening my grandmothers gifts in public. 

Picture it… Christmas Day 2007, small town Nebraska, friends and family surrounding you lost in a sea of wrapping paper and ocean of gifts.   I excitedly reach towards my last gift; a gift from my Grandmother; flown all the way in from Canada.   Everyone is just opening their gifts from “Grandma” and as I peer into the box I see two pairs of granny panties, socks and a box with really pretty gems in it.  I gaze a the gems for a few moments until I realize they’re attached to something.  I slide open the lid on the box, realize instantly what they’re attached to, snap it shut and refuse to show anyone in my family what’s in the box. 

Mommy dearest wasn’t having any of that, OH NO…  She wanted to know what the pretty sparkles were coming from.  She wrestled the box away from me and in front of God and everybody showed of my brand new g-string.  The thing was remarkable.  It consisted of two threads and gems.  That is it.  To this day they haven’t left the box.

So imagine my surprise each and every year when I get a new gift from Grandma only to recieve another piece of “sexy” lingerie. 

Upon seeing the box on my mother’s front porch this afternoon I was overcome with excitement that I had recieved a present!  WOOT!  Late birthday gifts!  Who doesn’t love that?  Until I realized it was from Grandma.  I ran inside, hiding from the friend that accompanied me, and snuck the lid off, only to find the most beautiful teddy I have ever seen.  Its brown with teal polka dots (my favorite color combination, as of late) complete with lace adornment.  It is so pretty.

I proudly showed it off to my friend proclaiming, “I think my Grandmother thinks I’m a slut!”  Until I realized something.  The sexy lingerie started coming after my Grandmother had met Mr. Grinch.  I think she likes Mr. Grinch.  🙂  Now only if she new my nickname…

Until we meet again!

 

Bringin’ Scotch to Work… November 8, 2009

Filed under: Whoville Shananigans — sexgrinch @ 12:03 AM

Bringing Scotch to work… It might not be a very good idea.  Unless Scotch is a yellow cat… And Scotch has left remnants of his bright yellow fur all over your black work pants.

So, ladies and gentleman, I’m Scotchin’ it up at work tonight… AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME.

I’m loaded with Scotch and they’re paying me time and a half for overtime right now… And there isn’t a damn thing they can do about it!  Muahahahahah! (That’s my evil laughter…)

This, my faithful “Whovillagers” is Scotch and his brother cat.  Scotch is the yellow one in back.  Forgive the picture, I stole it from his minion’s facebook page. 

sc

Until we meet again!

 

An Early Christmas Wish! *Updated* November 7, 2009

Filed under: Sending Out a Little Love! — sexgrinch @ 12:36 AM

nE-5iGPsaArs

Noah Biorkman is a 5 year old boy who is in his last stages of neuroblastoma cancer after a 2 1/2 year battle. His family is celebrating Christmas this week and all he wants are Christmas cards.

Let’s try and see how many we can get to him from all over the world.

His address is:

Noah Biorkman c/o 99.5

WYCD 2201

Woodward Heights Blvd.

Ferndale, MI 48220-1511

 

Please re-post this to help spread the word about Noah!!

You can find Noah’s story here at his Care Pages website. 

 

Wanna make a big fat bet?! November 6, 2009

Filed under: The Fabulous Mr. Grinch — sexgrinch @ 3:30 AM

I have this miraculous ability to make a bet, lose it and then never follow through. It’s created a bit of sexual tension in our relationship.

Okay, but really. If Mr. Grinch would just choose a more innovative bet, I’d be all over it. For the last 3 ½ years every single bet has “sex” weaved into it–oral sex, intercourse, anal sex (HA! Yeah right!) You name the type of sex; he’s probably made a bet on it. Doesn’t he understand? I’m the SexGrinch not the freaking Queen of the Sex Fairy Goddesses… Besides that’s too long of a blog title. Now where was I? Oh yes. I work midnights, it’s frustrating not being able to share a bed with Mr. Grinch, but I love my job and we need it. I get nightly grievances from him about needed a good cuddle to sleep better. I promised him I would cuddle him to sleep on Sunday, my next night off work. The conversation goes…

SG: I promise this Sunday, I will

MG: We should put a bet on that

SG: Um, k?

MG: You think of something, ANYTHING GOES.

SG: Haha, Right, ok. (I know where this is going…)

MG: And it’s going to be a weeklong bet; dishes, pampering, cleaning, ANYTHING GOES.

SG: Ahhh, I can already guess what yours will be.

MG: Perhaps, Perhaps Not..

SG: Right

MG: Fine, I’m going to make it sex every night but it’s got to be in a different room every night.

SG: *LOL* you should really be more creative.

Talk about motivation. Who wants to put money on me winning this bet? I get to cuddle Mr. Grinch to sleep and get pampered for a week? Seriously? This man is toast and he doesn’t even recognize it.